Eyes to See

I don't know how to say what I want to say, so just bear with me as this clumsily comes out!
We had a really nice Christmas break with my family and now we are back to reality. My toddlers are playing in their cribs while they wait for me to finish "my" morning stuff. I pried myself awake at 6:30 and not quite sucessfully got the 6 year olds to school on time. Apparently my resolution to be patient with my daughter who dawdles has failed.
One of my resolutions is to not complain so much. In reality, I have everything I need and almost everything I want. But yet this is still a constant struggle for me. I do not deal well with noise, mess, or disorder. I crave structure, order, obedience, quiet. So having so many young kids (while a dream come true) really is a challenge for me.
So while I am finding sneakers that should have been found last night and pouring bowls of cereal five minutes after we should have left I have to repeat to myself, "At least my babies sleep in and I don't have to deal with them yet."

And when my babies are screaming and pushing each other off of my lap and they both want mommy right now! I have to repeat to myself, "At least they still nap!"

My quest of not complaining so much often reminds me of all of you. So many of you are succeeding at this mothering thing. You might not think you are. But I see you. I see you raising handfuls of boys in a small space. I see you going to work and leaving little ones day  after day. I see you waking up at the crack of dawn over and over and over. I see you being single parents, working parents, stay at home parents who are just weary. But I see you fighting for your kids. I see you cuddling them when they're sick and wiping their tears over and over and over.
And I do the same things. And I'm grateful for the help I have. I am so thankful that when I am at the grocery store, or airport, or church that I can look around and see kindness in people's eyes. That they will play peek a boo. Or pick up a toy. Or distract a tantruming toddler. And I hope that you have that help also. Because we all need it, large or small or multiple children or not. And I hope to be that person to you as you have been to me. I want to be able to bring you dinner even when we are eating chicken nuggets. I want to be able to babysit your kids even when my house has exploded into a toy landfill.
That is my resolution this year. To stop complaining and to look outside of my own self to reach out and SEE the good I can do.

But I know I will fail at it. I know that I will let the clutter and the noise and the tears get to me very quickly. I know that if it is up to me I will never rise above myself. But it doesn't matter. I am not the one who needs to see. Because even if we all fail--He doesn't. He sees. He knows. And if we open our eyes, He will guide us to who we need to help this day. In our own home, or outside of it. I might not see you, but He does. I can't complain about any of that!